By Dr. Lisa M. Coffey
January 3, 2023
I have not written much in the last three months, but I have spent countless hours painting, relaxing, and clearing my mind in my art studio. My brother passed away in October of 2019, and this time every year through the holiday season is a rough stretch, so I Immerse myself in what calms me most, and that is to paint away the pain. I also made a conscious effort to reconnect with some people. So often, we get self-consumed that we forget to nourish some relationships; however, in this process, I have discovered some fake folks and have to purge those relationships and be a peace with a smaller circle.
The best way to construct healthy relationships is through open, honest, and reciprocal conversations. Of course, none of us is perfect at communicating, but when others make assumptions, have preconceived notions, or cannot express their feelings, healthy relationships cannot flourish. Likewise, harboring resentment, tension, and inaccurate thoughts will drain the possibility of restoration. In my quest to understand the disconnect, I have realized that we can only bridge the gap once some folks take a deeper look at themselves, their bitterness, the reasoning for their abrasive attitude, their stubbornness, and their controlling demeanor. Sometimes we are guilty of caring too much!
Who's listening to me? Are you still trying to rebuild toxic relationships? Do you care too much? My aunt had a saying, "love who's loving you!" That will be my motto for 2023, and I am no longer giving positive energy to negative relationships, whether with a family member, friend, or foe. Life is too short to spend wasted energy on other people's issues.
Focus on those relationships that are reciprocal. If the connection could be better and after one last attempt to revive, move on! #tired
(c) Dr. Lisa M. Coffey, 2023